The Sick Chick

I finally ordered my first “big girl” looms from Decor Accents — an extra small gauge straight rake for dishcloths and an extra fine gauge sock loom (will fit me and t both, yay!) to be delivered to my mom’s house. Now to find some cheap sock yarn to practice on — anyone destashing? Mom has already bought something like 25 skeins of Peaches & Creme for me (she went to the factory outlet unchaperoned and went a bit crazy!) so I’m good for dishcloths for now

I’m sure I will eventually get plenty more looms — I’m especially hoping that Duxall Inarow (love that name!) will resume producing her stunning rakes soon.

I’m also going to try my hand at crocheting dishcloths this summer as I’m feeling a lot more confident wielding a hook now after using it so much for casting on and finishing things on the loom. I sooo need a light-up hook for the road trip, methinks (Oh yeah, forgot to mention we’re driving to PA — I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be many quilt stores on our route!)

Sorry I’ve taken so long with getting all of the Paris and spinning class stuff written up but t and I have a stomach virus right now so we’re behind on everything — except our tv watching

[crossposted]

As many of you know, I suffer from a condition called Fibromyalgia among many others. Fibromyalgia — called fibro or FM for short — is believed to be a disease of the central nervous system. People with this condition suffer intense, widespread pain and crushing fatigue. It can completely disable a person and destroy their lives. Up to three percent of the population may get this disease at some point in their life, although many go for years without obtaining a proper diagnosis. There is only one drug so far (approved in the US only) and that only works for a percentage of the population and only dampens some of the symptoms. We usually have pain every moment of every day and can find it difficult, perhaps even impossible, to find the energy to get out of bed, dress or leave the house. It is not a lack of willpower, but a chronic, permanent illness. It is like having the worst case of the flu you have ever experienced and it never goes away.

On the 10th of May, the National Fibromyalgia Association (US) is hosting a walk to raise awareness and funds for research. They have called for others — yes, even in other countries — to help them as Virtual Participants, and I am organizing a team. Walking for me is still a painful process, but I am committed to giving my all in support of this cause. Please honour my pain and hardship (it will take me at least a week to recover) with your support.

London Crawling is a pub crawl through the West End on that Saturday evening. We’re going to walk our 5K (hopefully, fingers crossed!) but take regular breaks to sit down, rest and perhaps have a half. (Alcohol not required, indeed not recommended for many on certain pain medications!) It’s social but socially conscious all in one! We’ll also be pointing out things which are hazards to the mobility impaired along our route for those who have never had cause to notice such things before.

Join our walk, either as an official Virtual participant (Cost: US$35, a non-tax deductible donation, you get an official t-shirt and your name on the virtual walkers roll) or just come along and make a cash donation. Perhaps you can match the pounds spend on beer with pounds given to Fibromyalgia research?

If you’re not in London, I urge you to become a Virtual participant anyway. You (apparently) don’t have to even walk. Maybe just walk virtually Second Life anyone? You can still be on our team even if you can’t crawl with us in person. Join in and help raise funds for this very worthy cause near and dear to my heart!

If participating doesn’t appeal, then I beseech you to consider donating. My personal sponsorship page has some more details of my personal struggle. You can join our team at the London Crawling page. You can donate either to me or to the team. And if joining the team, you can walk in my honour or anyone else you know with fibromyalgia. Let me know if you want more details for that part of the form.

Please spread the word!

I know the fad now is to offer prizes draws to those who make donations but I am not in a position to offer anything special. But I will promise a hand-made thank you card to any donor who requests one. These take my time and energy and can be a bit painful in the making so I hope that this gift will be as meaningful to you as anything else on offer.

The NFA has already helped make my life better and continues to search for ways to improve the lives of allof us with fibromyalgia. Please contribute today to keep the ball rolling and fight against this dreadful disease! I believe that donations are tax-deductible within the United States.

So we’re back, and yes we had a lovely time.  Mostly because we abandoned all plans except eating (hitting many of our old favourites) and shopping in what craft stores I could find.  We had some problems with the wheelchair not liking the steep hills (it drained the battery very quickly) so t had to push a lot, and it poured down rain for two days, but in general it was a pleasant and relaxing holiday.  It’s going to take me a while to recover.

Paris has changed a lot in the four and a half years since our last visit.  We used to visit annually when we could afford it (this is not that grand — remember, it’s just the next major town over and only 2.5 hrs by train so it’s one of the cheapest possible vacation spots for us) but I guess the changes seem a lot more pronounced when more time has passed.  I’d read that many French people think that the city is becoming a museum rather than a living, vibrant center of life.  I didn’t want to believe it but I’m afraid it is true.  Maybe models find  places to party but it’s becoming a tourist trap; there are more tourists than locals in most of the city center and the shops and venues have changed to reflect that.  It’s a little sad, really.

I certainly won’t say don’t go if you have never been.  I won’t even say that I won’t go — I’m always researching the history of Paris and/or using the museums as resources for other historical research.  But just to chill out and mellow, I think we’ll go to Provence or back to Italy (where I lived for a while).  Or who knows, maybe somewhere out there is a city that really is wheelchair friendly. I’m not holding my breath on that one though!

We’ve got about 500 photos to sort through and tag, but I’ll try to post the crafty ones (shops and my purchases) as soon as I can.

I’m trying to catch up on everyone else’s blogs so bear with me!

I know I have been very remiss in my blogging endeavours, but I have to plead illness.It’s been a very hard month+ for me and talking to people is one of the most difficult things at times so I’m afraid I have just been hibernating away. But today, perhaps because of the spring weather (oh how I wish it were going to last!) or perhaps because I saw mallard ducks in my back lawn (why I have no idea and sadly I didn’t have my camera with me) or because I have a lot of announcements, I have finally felt like talking to the world at large.

But before I say more about what has been going on, here are some piccies for your entertainment:

That is a scarf that I made for my mother last December, didn’t photograph until February and am only managing to post about today. It was made using Trendsetter Yarns Blossom using the Alternating rib stitch (5 rows each direction) on the Knifty Knitter long yellow loom. At least, this is how it looked before I washed it and sadly it is far more anaemic looking now I’ll try to photograph it again to show the difference. t says he can’t tell and looking at the scrap yarn I can’t tell differences in the strands individually, but it just looks less fluffy I’m very mad at myself for chancing a machine wash (delicate cycle) on a handwash yarn, even though I know my mom will only machine wash it anyway. I feel like I screwed up US$45 worth of lovely yarn and am really beating myself up about it

Beating myself up about things is sort of the theme lately, as that’s part of what happens in my depression cycle. The big D is what has been making life  miserable lately (mentally and physically as it increases pain levels). I’m not really going to talk about it much here as I know people don’t like hearing about that very much and so I’d rather save your illness attention spans for when I may need it in the future But I’ll just say that it has been the worst episode ever but finally my meds are adjusted and things seem to be on an even keel again. I still don’t feel that my meds are quite right, but I plan to study the meditation course for the prevention of depression relaspe so hopefully the meds will become less important in time.

The big news is that I have decided to go to America for a while this year. Normally this wouldn’t be news as I spend between 5 and 10 weeks a year there but I had actually been planning to *not* go over this year and have my parents come visit me instead. But my dad got sick (another reason I have been silent online is being stressed over him being in the hospital, etc.) and can’t do a long haul flight for a while and now my health problems are just getting to be more than t can handle. We’re going to have to look into getting me a carer but to do that I need to get disability benefits and that’s going to take several months so the temporary answer is that I will be going to the US to stay with my mom for two months to give t a break, then she will come over here for a few weeks to get some stuff organized so that we’re in a better position for the future.

SO: I’m going to be going to North Carolina from late May (ish) to the end of July (ish), with stops in Pittsburgh (and maybe Philly) and Tampa to see my dad (and maybe Disneyworld, that would rock!). I’m going to work on my knitting, practice spinning and maybe do some re-enacting. Also probably doing some scrapbooking and maybe a bit of quilting (Mom’s a big time quilt freak). And buying craft supplies. Oh yes, the best part!

All that comes after our trip to Paris next week though

I have more to talk about but I must rest my hands, my spinning class is tomorrow so I can’t afford to be crampy! I’ll try to post again soon, really!

Thanks to those who have written me with encouragement in the past two weeks.  I’m coming to terms with everything but things got delayed as my father was in the hospital most of last week with blood clots in the lungs.  He’s fine now but since his father died from blood clots unexpectedly, we were all more than a bit nervous.  And it may be another genetic condition to which I may be predisposed, so I’m awaiting the results of his testing almost as much as he is. Since I have so far gotten every single disease known on either side of the family, and often younger than the “normal” onset, I’m starting to become a little obsessive about knowing just what may becoming down the pike. (And desperately praying that I miss out on Alzheimer’s!)  I’m not crazy enough to think that I will get everything, but my odds are batting 1000 against me at the moment so I want to know what to be screened for.

Anyway, all of this has sent my mental health into something of a spiral.  I normally have a depressive episode in February each year so it’s probably just a slightly delayed reaction combined with family illness (father inlaw then father) and the upheaval of my new diagnosis.  It’s not that diabetes is a problem per se, it’s that I’m having to give up several coping mechanisms and unorthodox (but working for me) treatment strategies so my symptom load is going very high and I just feel like things are still very chaotic.  Well, in fact they are, as we’ve yet to decide on new treatment regimes so I’m kinda of flying blind.  Hence the “doldrums” part of the title.  The grey, rainy weather isn’t helping any and knitting with my brightest yarn isn’t helping there either.  When not even beading magazines can cheer me, I know it’s getting bad.  So I have a med review this week, one of my four appointments this week when I don’t have the energy to get out of bed let alone trek to the doctors and hospitals.  It has to be done though as I can’t handle much more of the way I am feeling…

But enough about that, let’s talk socks I have been wanting to order a sock loom but have been put off by how many sizes there are (so if I make socks for myself and my mom I’d need a different loom for my husband and dad) and how long of a wait it is to get a loom.  I think I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and order one though as I know that with diabetes foot care is important and that means wearing socks all of the time.  I generally try to escape socks as much as possible and right now can only cope with toe socks or part cashmere (luckily I got a bunch of lambswool and cashmere at TJ Maxx last year for $5/pair).  I’m hoping though that hand-knit socks will be every bit as amazing as everyone says. I also know from trying to get people to make hats for me that I won’t just be able to lean on folks to get some socks either so like hats I’m just going to have to make them myself.  So if anyone reading this has sock looms and likes or dislikes them, please let me know which one(s) you have!  I am hoping to use proper sock yarn (and do not like slipper socks or anything bulky!!!).

(As an aside, if anyone has single socks languishing without mates, my husband refuses to wear matching socks so will happily give them a good home   He also could not care less what gender they were meant for or even if they fit him properly or not! So if you have second sock syndrome but can’t bear the thought of frogging the one you already made, he can put them to good use.)

In other news, I’m finishing up the mate to the Lagoon legwarmer. I had hoped to have it done by today but I was getting hotspots again so I am taking it slower.  Then I need to really get cranking to finish my afghan for Tricot du Coeur as that is due this month.  I made a hat inspired by Annie Modesit’s rasta hat but have yet to photograph it.  I think I need to order a styrofoam head form for better hat photos plus I can use it for making felted hats.  So another thing I just need to get off my rear and order!  I’m just being a bit stingy since we’re going to Paris next month and always waaaay overspend there so we’re putting off nonessential purchases as much as we can just in case.  Ooh, I should start looking for the Parisian yarn shops…:)

Oh, and I shall need to buy a spindle as my spinning class is very soon and I’m sure I will want to keep going at home!

Well I have to go, I’ve got an appointment to attend and miles to go before I sleep….

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Elevator troubles

Originally uploaded by naughtypixie

Sorry I am still not doing well, but I thought you might enjoy seeing the complete ragdoll accessories set (which I have yet to blog about) in this picture my husband took last week.

Apologies that I’vve been quieter than usual.  This time it’s not out of forgetting to blog, just life getting in the way. I’ve added another disease to my portfolio, which has meant tests, lots of GP visits, angst over the changes required for management (which as usual sound trivial but when put into the jigsaw puzzle that is my other disease management are far more profound), plus the new symptoms to cope with.  So it’s been a crazy week.  I’m very tired and emotionally worn out and I just need to take a bit of time out to get the lay of the land.  I’ll be back to blogging as soon as I am up for it.

Lene of The Seated View has just posted a wonderful entry entitled Thoughts of Pain & What Comes With It. I encourage you to read the whole thing, but here is the bit that moved me the most:

Chronic pain teaches you that pain isn’t the worst thing that can happen. Not living your life is the worst thing that can happen. And so, you develop filters that mask the pain, block your perception of it and get on with your life. I once tested this – convinced that making a cup of tea in my microwave didn’t hurt, I decided to pay attention and discovered that it indeed did hurt, but on the days where I have adequate pain control, isn’t loud enough to make it through the filter. One of my favourite barriers to pain is the fun filter – you’re out, with friends, dancing, talking or whatever floats your boat and you are fine. Absolutely fine. You’re so fine that you may stay out having fun for longer than you should, but you ignore this, because the music is playing or you are about an hours worth of debate away from solving the world’s problems. It is not until you come home and close the front door behind you that the fun filter abruptly falls away and in a nanosecond, you go from an entirely manageable level of pain to wanting to curl up in a fetal position, whimpering in a corner. It usually takes days to recover from something like that, but what you quickly learn is that it’s worth it.

That is not only 100% true in general, it’s also exactly what is going on right now. I spent all weekend getting up in the wee hours, sitting outside in the 27F cold for over an hour each day waiting for trains and buses, having a truly fabulous time at the feltmaking course — and then I came home and SPLAT! I had rubbed my hands so raw (and bloody) that touching anything was excruciating agony. I can’t type or move or even cough without high levels of pain. I laid down for a nap at 6 pm and woke at 6 am. I’m gonna be paying for this all week. And it was worth it.

But it’s going to be a few days before I can type enough to do justice to my writeup of the course, so I’m afraid that you shall have to be patient. As shall I, as t says I can’t wet felt again until my hands heal up. And I have about 20 hours of sleep to squeeze into this week else my body will not be as forgiving as I insist it must be. After all, the Stitch & Creative Craft expo is next week, so I’ve got to rest up! (Bunnies to pet there, ya know..)

I’m still pretty much  keeping up with my thing-a-day, but I haven’t been posting anywhere. I’m still in a fibro flare and making my thing is about the oly thing I am doing some days.  But we did get out for a day to run some errands, I’ve  knitted several items and photographed them, I just need to get myrear in gear and post things here.

I’m sorry I have  been quiet in commenting and replying to comments, it’s just that typing is hard at the moment.  I’m going to try to catch up when I can.  Meanwhile I think I will shut up and start posting pics

In the 4 days since my Colinette arrived, and bearing in mind that I didn’t knit any of it on the first day, I have completed three objects.  Not a bad track record at all, IMO.  Proves that when you have exquisite yarn it motivates you to great speed   I’ve even got a design that I think might sell (well it’s terribly similar to a lot of other things that are selling).

Unfortunately, a trip to the hardware store has not provided the material I want for a nice light tent, so we’re going to have to improvise.  Because this blog is pretty boring without pictures of all these things I am making!

I have a ton of more insightful posts to write, but my health is not doing too well right now so sitting and typing are alas not among my top efforts at this exact moment.  Soon, I hope.