Coming out for Spring

I know I have been very remiss in my blogging endeavours, but I have to plead illness.It’s been a very hard month+ for me and talking to people is one of the most difficult things at times so I’m afraid I have just been hibernating away. But today, perhaps because of the spring weather (oh how I wish it were going to last!) or perhaps because I saw mallard ducks in my back lawn (why I have no idea and sadly I didn’t have my camera with me) or because I have a lot of announcements, I have finally felt like talking to the world at large.

But before I say more about what has been going on, here are some piccies for your entertainment:

Scarf for Mom

Scarf for Mom -- Detail

That is a scarf that I made for my mother last December, didn’t photograph until February and am only managing to post about today. It was made using Trendsetter Yarns Blossom using the Alternating rib stitch (5 rows each direction) on the Knifty Knitter long yellow loom. At least, this is how it looked before I washed it and sadly it is far more anaemic looking now 🙁 I’ll try to photograph it again to show the difference. t says he can’t tell and looking at the scrap yarn I can’t tell differences in the strands individually, but it just looks less fluffy 🙁 I’m very mad at myself for chancing a machine wash (delicate cycle) on a handwash yarn, even though I know my mom will only machine wash it anyway. I feel like I screwed up US$45 worth of lovely yarn and am really beating myself up about it 🙁

Beating myself up about things is sort of the theme lately, as that’s part of what happens in my depression cycle. The big D is what has been making life  miserable lately (mentally and physically as it increases pain levels). I’m not really going to talk about it much here as I know people don’t like hearing about that very much and so I’d rather save your illness attention spans for when I may need it in the future 😉 But I’ll just say that it has been the worst episode ever but finally my meds are adjusted and things seem to be on an even keel again. I still don’t feel that my meds are quite right, but I plan to study the meditation course for the prevention of depression relaspe so hopefully the meds will become less important in time.

The big news is that I have decided to go to America for a while this year. Normally this wouldn’t be news as I spend between 5 and 10 weeks a year there but I had actually been planning to *not* go over this year and have my parents come visit me instead. But my dad got sick (another reason I have been silent online is being stressed over him being in the hospital, etc.) and can’t do a long haul flight for a while and now my health problems are just getting to be more than t can handle. We’re going to have to look into getting me a carer but to do that I need to get disability benefits and that’s going to take several months so the temporary answer is that I will be going to the US to stay with my mom for two months to give t a break, then she will come over here for a few weeks to get some stuff organized so that we’re in a better position for the future.

SO: I’m going to be going to North Carolina from late May (ish) to the end of July (ish), with stops in Pittsburgh (and maybe Philly) and Tampa to see my dad (and maybe Disneyworld, that would rock!). I’m going to work on my knitting, practice spinning and maybe do some re-enacting. Also probably doing some scrapbooking and maybe a bit of quilting (Mom’s a big time quilt freak). And buying craft supplies. Oh yes, the best part! 🙂

All that comes after our trip to Paris next week though 🙂

I have more to talk about but I must rest my hands, my spinning class is tomorrow so I can’t afford to be crampy! 🙂 I’ll try to post again soon, really!

Doldrums, Sock Lust, and more ramblings

Thanks to those who have written me with encouragement in the past two weeks.  I’m coming to terms with everything but things got delayed as my father was in the hospital most of last week with blood clots in the lungs.  He’s fine now but since his father died from blood clots unexpectedly, we were all more than a bit nervous.  And it may be another genetic condition to which I may be predisposed, so I’m awaiting the results of his testing almost as much as he is. Since I have so far gotten every single disease known on either side of the family, and often younger than the “normal” onset, I’m starting to become a little obsessive about knowing just what may becoming down the pike. (And desperately praying that I miss out on Alzheimer’s!)  I’m not crazy enough to think that I will get everything, but my odds are batting 1000 against me at the moment so I want to know what to be screened for.

Anyway, all of this has sent my mental health into something of a spiral.  I normally have a depressive episode in February each year so it’s probably just a slightly delayed reaction combined with family illness (father inlaw then father) and the upheaval of my new diagnosis.  It’s not that diabetes is a problem per se, it’s that I’m having to give up several coping mechanisms and unorthodox (but working for me) treatment strategies so my symptom load is going very high and I just feel like things are still very chaotic.  Well, in fact they are, as we’ve yet to decide on new treatment regimes so I’m kinda of flying blind.  Hence the “doldrums” part of the title.  The grey, rainy weather isn’t helping any and knitting with my brightest yarn isn’t helping there either.  When not even beading magazines can cheer me, I know it’s getting bad.  So I have a med review this week, one of my four appointments this week when I don’t have the energy to get out of bed let alone trek to the doctors and hospitals.  It has to be done though as I can’t handle much more of the way I am feeling…

But enough about that, let’s talk socks 🙂 I have been wanting to order a sock loom but have been put off by how many sizes there are (so if I make socks for myself and my mom I’d need a different loom for my husband and dad) and how long of a wait it is to get a loom.  I think I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and order one though as I know that with diabetes foot care is important and that means wearing socks all of the time.  I generally try to escape socks as much as possible and right now can only cope with toe socks or part cashmere (luckily I got a bunch of lambswool and cashmere at TJ Maxx last year for $5/pair).  I’m hoping though that hand-knit socks will be every bit as amazing as everyone says. I also know from trying to get people to make hats for me that I won’t just be able to lean on folks to get some socks either so like hats I’m just going to have to make them myself.  So if anyone reading this has sock looms and likes or dislikes them, please let me know which one(s) you have!  I am hoping to use proper sock yarn (and do not like slipper socks or anything bulky!!!).

(As an aside, if anyone has single socks languishing without mates, my husband refuses to wear matching socks so will happily give them a good home 😉  He also could not care less what gender they were meant for or even if they fit him properly or not! So if you have second sock syndrome but can’t bear the thought of frogging the one you already made, he can put them to good use.)

In other news, I’m finishing up the mate to the Lagoon legwarmer. I had hoped to have it done by today but I was getting hotspots again so I am taking it slower.  Then I need to really get cranking to finish my afghan for Tricot du Coeur as that is due this month.  I made a hat inspired by Annie Modesit’s rasta hat but have yet to photograph it.  I think I need to order a styrofoam head form for better hat photos plus I can use it for making felted hats.  So another thing I just need to get off my rear and order!  I’m just being a bit stingy since we’re going to Paris next month and always waaaay overspend there so we’re putting off nonessential purchases as much as we can just in case.  Ooh, I should start looking for the Parisian yarn shops…:)

Oh, and I shall need to buy a spindle as my spinning class is very soon and I’m sure I will want to keep going at home!

Well I have to go, I’ve got an appointment to attend and miles to go before I sleep….